7 Everyday Problems Solved by Bacon

baconIf you’re like me and you’re feeling the pinch in your wallet as a result of the weakness of your country’s currency and high dependency on imported goods, you’d appreciate alternative, creative ways of doing things. But I also believe sometimes we take life too seriously and need to take a step back and savour the pleasures of life. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce my weakness – (smoked) bacon.

Below I have listed problems that I’m sure bacon can solve (thank me later):

  1. Headaches – Sizzle 2 streaks of bacon slowly on a skillet and inhale
  2. Hitting your toe on furniture legs – place a frozen pack of bacon on the throbbing area and resume your blasphemy
  3. Arguments with your partner – Excuse yourself and prepare a bacon sandwich in the kitchen. Cut it into half and offer one half to your partner. Nibble and cuddle responsibly.
  4. Game of Thrones spoilers – Let your bacon fat cool then smear generously on your mobile phone screen, tablet screen, laptop screen and desktop to completely impair visibility.
  5. Weight loss – Fry a full pack of bacon ( at least 6 streaks) and when done put them all in a flat plate next to a picture of Russell Crowe in 2011 – you’ll have a rethink
  6. Missed alarms – Rub smoked bacon grease just underneath under your nostrils before going to bed (not to be attempted if you have a pest control problem).
  7. Waking the kids up for school – Sizzle 2 streaks of bacon slowly on a skillet and leave kids’ bedroom door wide open.

What would the world be like without bacon? I shudder at the mere thought of it #iheartpigs4sizzle 😛

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