Happy Valentine’s Day 2016

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Hello dear fans and visitors, (why are you still visitors? show some love and follow my blog today teehee).

In true Cupid style I decided to send this special love post that perfectly encapsulates the essence of Valentines Day. If you have a partner show them how special they are. It’s not always about gifts. You can make someone’s day just by saying the right words from your heart – not everyone is hell-bent on chocolates, flowers and teddies. If you’re single then let that dream partner know that they’re on your mind today. You can also extend your love to your family members – mum, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law, etc. But most importantly, love yourself. You can’t begin to show love to others if you don’t love yourself. I love me and I love you all for your loyalty, your curiosity, your consistency, your commentary, and your generosity in sharing my posts. Happy #ValentinesDay

Image credits: Google

5 Signs that you’re in a One-sided Relationship

stock-vector-man-holding-umbrella-protecting-his-lover-from-getting-wet-in-rainy-day-love-concept-152740430As the saying goes, ‘It takes two to tango‘. Similarly in relationships each party needs to put in work to make it work. So if you were once head-over-heels for someone it’s quite possible that you left yourself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Perfectly good eye-sight begins to fail as everyone else seems to notice inconsiderate behaviour on your partner’s part; everyone but you whose renewing rent on Cloud 9. However once the stupor has cleared from your eyes and you sink back into the harsh reality of your new relationship status (what’s that d word…not divorced…ah yes, ‘dumped’) you might just appreciate these signs Continue reading

Ten green bottles

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This gallery contains 3 photos.

I’m betting by now that your brain has cleverly associated this post title with the catchy yet annoying nursery rhyme in which bottles ‘accidentally fall down’ by no fault of your own and keep on falling whilst you’re frantically trying … Continue reading

There’s something I want to tell you…

That phrase usually surfaces in conversations when a (straight) man is about to spill his guts about how he has developed strong feelings for a lady (finally). But the problem I find is that we don’t always seem to know how to go about it right, without coming off sounding like a cheesy line straight out of the Jerry McGuire movie (Hint: What did the sentence say to the period?).

Imagine a man lying down next to his girlfriend on the beach. He’s giving her a sensual massage with the sweet-smelling coconut oil, while she’s sipping a scrumptious Chapman cocktail and reading the latest post from The Crazy Nigerian on her iPhone (what? it’s possible!). Suddenly, unknown to them, a Tsunami the size of King Kong is racing down towards them. There is clearly no chance of escape. He decides to seize his moment to confess his feelings. He turns her over and then he goes, ‘There’s something… (SPLASH!). Whoops! Too late 😦

Now, the person I feel sorrier for is the poor girl who has no idea what her boyfriend intended to say before being slapped with one million gallons of salt water. For all she knows he was going to say;

  • There’s something in your teeth (Observation)
  • There’s something in my eye (Irritation)
  • There’s something you’re not telling me (Suspicion)

But even if the Tsunami was non-existent, how do you think our lover boy would have concluded? ‘There’s something I want to tell you. I think about you every hour of every day and I would be doing myself an injustice if I didn’t tell you how much I want to be more than just your boyfriend. You have a smile that could melt an iceberg and a voice that could soothe a troubled spirit. I look forward to waking up each day ever since you became a part of my life and now I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you, I want no one else but you and I don’t want to go on living another second without my soul mate. will you marry me?

A bit over the top? A simple ‘I love you. Will you marry me?’ would probably have been enough to seal the deal (with a big shiny rock to match, of course). Men don’t always find it easy to express themselves; both in words and in actions. They sometimes spend too much time trying to read their partners thoughts. It’s best to keep things simple and just be open. Women can sense when men are being honest…and they appreciate it too. Men need to look their partner deep in the eyes and say exactly what is on their mind no matter how unrehearsed or unpolished. Blurt it out, follow-up with a kiss and a warm embrace…sparks are bound to fly (well, we can only hope). The next time you see that special someone tell him/her how you feel because you may never get that opportunity again.

By the way, Happy Independence Day Nigeria! Enjoy your 52nd year 🙂

The A-Z of Relationships – Part 2

These days you can’t blame paranoid couples for wanting to throw in nuptials (especially when one of them is filthy rich!). But if there’s a good sense of trust between the two lovers then they could go on to explore the depth of their intimacy and hope to stumble upon an orgasm or two if they’re lucky. Then just when you least expect it, one of you becomes pregnant. Nine months down the line you start asking yourself some serious questions like ‘Will I be a good father/mother?’ ‘Am I going to be able to cope with all the baby expenses?’ or if there’s been suspected infidelity, ‘Why does this baby look like my gardener?’ Life starts becoming a mundane routine involving nappy changing, baby feeding and ‘gaga-googoo’ talking. Years go by and suddenly you catch an infection more commonly known as the seven-year itch. Left untreated, this could spell disaster for even the most compatible relationships. Love seemingly turns sour and tension begins to build up whenever you’re on the same bed. Sex is a thing of the past and your mind is clouded with uncertainty as to whether you have become less attractive (or plain grotesque) to your other half. Such desperate times may cause the man to turn to drugs…Viagra, to be precise (although, if the problem is too many kids then we could be talking Vasectomy instead). Women don’t get off that easy as they also have to play their own part in ‘keeping things up’ – Wondebra takes care of that. The desired outcome would be to rekindle the flame and seal the deal with more frequent XOXOs (hugs and kisses). As your energies combine, you both realize you can’t exist without each other; he’s your Yin and she’s your Yang. When you’re both in your seventies and having sex, your passionate oooh’s and aaah’s will soon become uncontrollable Zzzzzzzzzz’s… 

See also The A-Z of Relationships Part 1

10 Day YOU Challenge: 9 Loves

Day 2 – Now that I’ve got my secrets out-of-the-way (and out in the open) I’ll probably go into some detail as I talk about my loves (I could count 99 but I’ll stick to the rules). Here goes nothing…

  1. He has been there for me in the darkest of times when I felt all hope was lost. More importantly he died for my sins even before I was born and wants me to get to Heaven. I pray in his name whenever I want something from God. I love Jesus.
  2. There’s no surprise that this next love is coming second. From Bran flakes in the morning to yoghurt and fruit, pancakes, bacon, sausages, pasta, cheese, pizza, fried rice, plantain, ice-cream, hotdogs…you guessed it. I love Food.
  3. I’ve got to have the slick portable mp3 players or the Nokia E75 with the fancy slide qwerty keypad. What about camera’s with in-built mp3 and video camera (I lost that after being pickpocketed at a boring wedding – boo hoo). I’m a far cry from 007 but I love Gadgets
  4. When I see the table I get excited like a little kid who was about to ride his first tricycle. Racking up the balls and chalking my cue is the beginning of complete isolation from the outside world. I could sit at home and watch game after game when world tournaments are on. Any girlfriend I’m with at the time has no chance of getting my attention (except with food, of course). I am an absolute sucker for it so much so that I blew 200 pounds sterling on my very own in London and even shipped it back to Nigeria when I relocated! I love Pool/Snooker tables
  5. Ever since I saw ‘monkey suits’ (oversized suits which make the wearer look like he stole them from Pavarotti) I vowed I would NEVER wear such (and that would go into my will too). First impressions count. Style matters. There’s a thin line between SWAG and SAG. I love Fitted Clothes.
  6. Clear white sands. Cool sea-breeze blowing through the palm trees. Barbecue sizzling nicely and the fizz from when I open a can of ice-cold Heineken as I recline on the long sun bed. My Police shades on a 45 degree tilt as I watch the action pass by. I love Beaches.
  7. The thrill of the take-off is the only thing that comes close to a roller coaster ride for me. It’s like an adrenaline rush as the plane thunders down the tarmac. Economy, Business or First class – I don’t care. I love Air travel.
  8. The Moonwalk, Crazy legs, Ballroom, Salsa, Ethnic, Yahooze, Alanta, LMFAO Shuffle, etc you name it. As long as I have to move my feet to the beat you can say that I love Dancing.
  9. This is my passion and I can only thank WordPress for helping me to keep up this increasingly addictive hobby. This is a no-brainer for those who know me. Fact, Fiction, Funny, Freaky…I looooooooooooooooove Writing!

What are YOUR loves?

10 things to do…if you wake up tomorrow

Sometimes we take for granted the fact that we have been ‘unconscious’ throughout the night while we sleep and that some people don’t actually wake up. Nobody can say for sure what makes us wake up. If you say, ‘my alarm’ then that would be a silly answer. How about on a Saturday morning if you’re not going to work – Could you wake yourself up at exactly 9am (without the aid of some alarm)? Indeed the act of waking up is nothing short of a miracle… 

So what do you do when you wake up? Check your Blackberry for chat updates? Snooze your alarm? Jump into the bathroom and continue dozing on the toilet seat? If that’s as about creative as the start of your day is then you could consider another routine which is more refreshing and should take you less than an hour to complete: 

1. Pray ~ No matter your religious background or beliefs I believe that there is a higher being whom is responsible for this mystery called Life. As a Christian I know that one has to be thankful for so many things, including being alive, in good health, safe from the hazards of the outdoors and indoors, having food on the table, money in your pocket, a loving family, a job, etc.  But first and foremost I think one should give thanks to the Almighty for waking up to see a new day. I’m sure God would appreciate that.

2. Meditate ~ Having some quiet time or ‘me-time’ is a good way of reflecting on your life and the happenings of the previous day(s). I like to read my daily devotional which comes with short passages from the Bible. Technology makes reading the Bible so much easier as most smartphones are capable of downloading the Bible application. Meditating on God’s word is a good way to grow spiritually and to know more about one’s purpose on earth. 

3. Exercise ~ Stretching the body and moving those muscles completes the waking up process for me (I’m not a big fan of coffee since it scarred my sleeping pattern during my gruelling, 12hours-a-day A Level studies). You can do press-ups, sit-ups or crunches, aerobics, etc. The type and length of exercise you use is entirely up to you. You will feel stronger, alert and reenergized as blood circulation will be enhanced. 

4. Drink water ~ Some researchers believe that drinking water after waking up is a good way to purify the body in and out. In Japan, drinking water is believed to cure a number of ailments (Read more). Drinking water will help to move your bowels and give you that lighter feeling after sending you to the toilet. Water therapy is definitely worth a try.

5. Take a warm bath/shower ~ Throw in some foam bath and let your pores open up as your body is invigorated by the warm water. I think cold water isn’t as effective in washing off dirt from the body as warm water can (Imagine using cold water to wash an oily dinner plate – nearly impossible, right?). Sometimes a cold shower is preferable when the weather is very humid but if it’s freezing outside then you know what to do!

6. Have breakfast ~ The thought of eating food in the morning makes some people nauseous – not me! You can give me a full English breakfast at 5.30am and I’ll be asking for extra bacon. But if time is not your side then a bowl of cereal or oatmeal would be good. Fruits like apples would be ideal because they have antioxidant properties that can keep you healthy (Read more). For the most part eating something before you leave for work would give you some energy since your last meal the day before. Please don’t go out hungry – you might get grouchy and binge on junk food which may add-on some unwanted weight and the guilt and self-loathing that comes with it!

7. Listen to some news ~ What if you didn’t turn on your radio or switch on your TV to find that everybody in your neighbourhood was meant to stay indoors because of an ongoing riot? You might just get caught in the thick of it and have difficulty get back home. It’s always good to be informed about what’s happening locally and globally. There just might be one piece of news that could affect your life or that of someone you know.

8. Plan your day ~ Think about what you want to set out to achieve. Do you have to pay some bills? Do you have a meeting to attend or an appointment to keep? Do you have shopping to do? Having a ‘mind map’ of how you would like your day to go can go a long way in giving you some level of control on what you will and will not do. No plan means that you’re just going with the flow and even worse, you could just be a pun in someone else’s plan.

9. Have a Positive Mental Attitude ~ If you decide it is going to be a bad day then guess what, it most certainly will be. No smiling, no consideration for others, no good utterances from your mouth, etc, would all serve as a perfect recipe for a shit day. If you wake up and it’s raining, so what? Everywhere will be wet but that’s mother nature. Maybe yu just got dumped – get over it! There are other potentials out there who would appreciate you better than your ex. If you don’t like your job then what are you doing about it? Applying for a better one, discussing other job options with your HR manager or just grumbling and making your colleagues eventually avoid your company…the attitude you choose to put on before you leave your apartment will determine how you will relate with people and invariably how they will relate with you so choose wisely!   

10. Show some love ~ We all like being loved so why not do something like hold the elevator/lift or door for someone, or offer to buy lunch for a colleague, or call someone whom you haven’t spoken to in a long while…sky’s the limit when it comes to gestures of love. But if you’re married and you presumably share the same bed with your partner, then there is one other thing I can think of that is worth doing when you wake up in the morning 😉 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!…but where’s Cupid?

I drove out of my compound early as usual before the rooster gave it’s annoying rendition of ‘Cock-a-doodle-doo’ which in Nigeria sounds more like ‘Coo-kuruuuuuuuuu-koo’. I didn’t notice anything that depicted Valentine’s day in the slightest. But probably I was just driving too fast.

If February 14 is supposed to be the day of love then why is it that the bus drivers still didn’t show me any as they wrestled for space as I reached stupidly constructed narrow roads? Why is it that I could hear a couple arguing next door in an uncompleted building next to my office about who finished the petrol in the generator? Why is it that the Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) is currently picketing in front of Stallion Plaza, Marina-Lagos? I looked up to the sky to see if there was a ‘bird’ or a ‘plane’ but alas I couldn’t see Cupid swooping down with his bow and love-soaked arrow coming to my rescue 😦

Back in my office however we’ve had what my boss called a ‘Love Prayer’ this morning in which all members of staff joined hands and prayed together. We also presented a lovely Forest Gateau with soft drinks on a table for all customers who walked into the banking hall. The music coming from the overhead speakers had one consistent theme that ran through each song – True Love by Tuface Idibia, The Power of Love by Celine Dion, Someone to (yes you guessed it) Love by Babyface…LOVE LOVE LOVE! Of course no Valentine gig at the office would be complete without the ol’ Secret Santa Valentine. The guys picked girls’ names at random from a bowl filled with little pieces of folded paper. Likewise the girls picked guys’ names from a different bowl. I bought a Cartier Body Lotion and Shower Gel pack for my lucky Val but I’m yet to know what I’m getting or who’s supposed to get something for me in the first place.

Whilst I’m on the subject, I bought my true Valentine something I knew she’d always wanted – a Blackberry. I got her the Curve 8520 with the Trackpad (so much better that that rollerball if you ask me). My neck is still recovering from the sleeper choke hold my girlfriend gave me – she was ecstatic. I’ll probably take her to watch a good Romcom this evening. The best part is that there’s a public holiday in Nigeria tomorrow whereby the Muslims will be celebrating Id-el-Maulud! 🙂

So I guess I have no real justification for seeming to start off as a Valentine Grinch. Yes, I was ‘seeing red’ when I encountered a bit of road rage earlier this morning but Valentine’s Day is turning out to be a quite cheerful day. I’m sporting my red slim tie and a pair of red and silver cufflinks like a good (Pro-Valentine) boy. There’s only one thing that is giving me a bit of discomfort…urgh! CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE GET CUPID’S ARROW OUT OF MY BUTT?!!!

The day I died

I tried to remember what happened but I couldn’t. It was as if the last 30 seconds of my life were erased from my memory. I felt like a big weight was taken off my shoulders. I was floating into space. There, I could see the world for what it really was – a haven overwhelmed with more selfish, power-hungry scavengers than do-gooders. It wasn’t getting better with time. It was getting worse. But I still wanted to be part of this cruel world. I wanted to experience life outside my comfort zone. Sadly, that wasn’t to be.

You see, I was right next to the guy who took my rightful place. We were pretty much identical. We were also quite aggressive and against all odds we beat millions of other hopefuls to the promise land – but there was only room for one. We faced-off for what felt like an eternity and then I thought, ‘What good would it be if neither of us gets to experience life?’ ‘What makes me better than this guy?’ ‘Why do I deserve to go?’ I couldn’t answer that question. I backed down and let my rival get past me – It was an excruciating sacrifice. I was able to catch one last glimpse of new life in motion before amnesia set in.

What then was my purpose? I was no better than my fallen comrades who died in paper graves and latex coffins. I didn’t make first place. I felt like a pushover, a loser, a quitter. But there was one thing my rival said after I let him swim past me that I’ll never forget, ‘I won’t let you down’.

That wasn’t exactly a thank you but it was good enough. Today marks the day that he remembered me. He has experienced pain, hurt and anger. But he has also experienced peace, joy and love. With regards how he treats people I think a bit of myself rubbed off on him.

So though I’m dead I’m glad to know that he kept his promise…

Entry #81 – A cry for help

I was on my way home 2 days ago when I decided to pull over at a petrol station to fill up my tank. As the Sales Assistant began pumping the fuel a middle-aged man drove up on the other side of the fuel pump with his wife and 3 kids in the back seat. He came out of his car and went round to the car boot to pull out a jerrican. I knew this because I overheard the conversation the man had with his wife: 

Wife: Did you remember to bring the jerrican?

Man: Yes, I always leave it in the boot.

Well, he was greatly disappointed when he opened the boot and discovered that he had actually forgotten to bring the jerrican. At that point the Sales Assistant had finished attending to me and so I paid for my fuel. As I was getting back into my car I noticed how sad the man looked as he got back into his car. He didn’t need the fuel for his car but probably for his generator at home. His wife didn’t make a fuss nor did she shout at her husband for being forgetful. The children seemed quiet after seeing the their parents looking a bit miserable. Perhaps the man didn’t plan to make another trip outside. Maybe he was on a tight schedule. All I was certain of was that I felt unhappy that this family was suddenly unhappy. I had to do something.

Due to unexpected fuel strikes in Nigeria (or at least in Lagos) I usually carry a 25-litre jerrican in my boot. This way I’m aptly prepared at all times to hoard fuel when there is rumour of an impending fuel strike. That day I had the jerrican in my boot as I saw the unhappy family opposite my car. I had a moment of hesitation as I started my car but I don’t know what came over me when I suddenly shouted across, ‘Will a 25-litre jerrican be okay for you?’

The wife looked astonished as she replied, ‘Yes’. I came out of my car, reached into my boot and handed over my empty 25-litre jerrican to him. He was ecstatic! He kept thanking me and saying that God would bless me. So did his wife. His children were now smiling because their parents were smiling. The man gave me one of his business cards and hoped that we could get in touch. I’m a private person really so I promised I’d get in touch with him (seriously, not like the ‘Don’t call us we’ll call you’ scenario that you may find at badly handled job interviews). I drove off feeling better…knowing that 5 people were made happy and they’ll probably have a lot to talk about later.

Wouldn’t you be happy if a complete stranger helped you in your time of need? I would like everyone reading this to do something special for a complete stranger during this Christmas period. Do something unexpected for someone who is in desperate need of help. That person may not have anymore faith in humanity. That person may be feeling suicidal. That person may one day feel reluctant to help someone else because he or she had never been helped recently. I’m not saying that you should give your life savings to the poor (you could if you’re so inclined though) but it’s the little things that count most times. Trust me, if doing that good deed for someone is not a big deal to you it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a big deal to the recipient of your good deed. Put a smile on someone’s face this Christmas and let’s start a chain reaction of good deeds (doesn’t that just remind you of Pay It Forward?) 😀 

Entry #79 – Love Thy (Noisy) Neighbor

I am a law-abiding citizen. I pay my rent on time and I also pay my taxes. I love my mum and dad just as much as I love OREO cookies and I’ve won The Best Brother Ever Award 3 years in a row, courtesy of my two lovely younger sisters. I don’t expect much from people…even when it’s my birthday. What I do expect from my neighbors, however, is some peace and quiet when I return from a hard day at the office!

I live in a very big compound with 11 other tenants in their respective apartments. Unfortunately 3 of them drive me up the wall (some more frequently than others). Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to present to you the 3 neighbors whom I have tried my best to love with all my heart (honest!).

The Prayer Warrior:

Gender ~ Female

Age ~ 20-something

Marital Status ~ Single (and I think I know why)

Number of kids ~ None

Noise-ometer ~ 7/10 (Very Loud)

Offence(s) ~ On random mornings and nights I would hear this woman chanting prayers and speaking in tongues. It’s quite scary to say the least. It sounds so violent that you actually first think about calling the police to report a case of domestic abuse. The shouting can last for up to 30 minutes and sometimes even longer. I wonder if she has any friends…hmm…maybe just on Facebook.

The All-Nighter:

Gender ~ Male

Age ~ 30-something

Marital Status ~ Single

Number of kids ~ None

Noise-ometer ~ 8/10 (Very Loud and Constant)

Offence(s) ~ Whilst every other sane neighbor usually puts off their generators before going to bed, this guy runs his generator till the fuel runs out. Perhaps if the Nigerian government got their act together and provided uninterrupted power supply then we wouldn’t need generators in the first place. But in the meantime I expect this neighbor to show a little consideration for others by switching his generator off at 12am max. He goes to work the following day so how the hell does he sleep through that constant drone? Maybe I’ll just go ahead and buy those Pioneer headphones I’ve been Googling and see if they’re really sound-proof…

The  Human Megaphone:

Gender ~ Female

Age ~ 30 something

Marital Status ~ Widowed

Number of kids ~ 3

Noise-ometer ~ 9.9/10 (Extremely Loud, Constant and Annoying)

Offence(s) ~ Where do I begin? She screams all day. She is obviously lazy because she reduced her teenage niece to a maid. She comes out of her apartment and just when she realizes she’s forgotten something she starts screaming her niece’s name at the top of her lungs…right beneath my bedroom window whilst I’m still sleeping! At first I felt sorry for her because she is a widow but that changed after one late night at about 1am when her sisters-in-law paid her a surprise visit. They banged on her door for an hour and outrightly accused her of driving their brother to an early grave. It was like trying to sleep while The Jerry Springer Show was on. I also have doubts as to the rightful owner of her car because she sure doesn’t know how to unlock it without triggering the car alarm…every single time. I swear she’ll give me a heart attack one day. And don’t get me started on her three screaming kids!

Well I hope there really is a Santa because this Christmas I’m wishing for peace and sanity in my neighborhood. Do you think you could live with my neighbors? 😦

Entry #11 – Why the wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger?

A friend of mine sent me this and I thought it was worth sharing. I know you’ll enjoy this as much as I did ;D :

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger? There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese….. Thumb represents your Parents

Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings

Middle finger represents your-Self

Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner

& the Last (Little) finger represents your children

Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together – back to back

Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb – tip to tip

(As shown in the figure below):

 

 

wedding

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)…, they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)…., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.  

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)…., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).

You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT….., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives – through thick and thin!!  

  Please try this out………….

ISN’T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?

 

 

A Risky Sonnet

Like running down a steep staircase or taking a sharp corner at full speed

Like standing inches from a cliff edge or leaving a slashed wrist to bleed

Like smoking a pack of cigarettes after being diagnosed with a bad lung

Like rushing back in for your belongings after a fire alarm has been rung

like cheating at an important examination or plagiarizing a school report

Like walking out of a shop with shoes you tried on but you never bought

Like investing in the stock market or throwing a set of dice to get a seven

Like partying on a Thursday night for five hours after working for eleven

Like setting up your best friend with a date who was previously into you

Like leaving home at the precise time you need to get to a job interview

Like swimming against waves at sea in order to save someone drowning

Like taking a bullet for a stranger, or an expedition on the K-2 Mountain

Like drinking wine and then driving, or walking in a dark alley all alone

Like falling in love and hoping the heart that may break is not your own…

 

..xTx..

 

Lover’s ball I

I’m free though I’m trapped in my seat belt
The take-off is sure to make my nausea felt
With fear I meekly pray to get through this flight
Hoping someone near would say, ‘It’ll be alright’
But then this Mean beauty sat next to my side
She was luscious but she had too much pride
Asked her for her name but she cut me short
– making me wish I never came to the airport
10 mins later the plane is elevated into horizon
Simultaneously I can feel my temperature rising
Not caused by the flight but by her tap on my knee
Thought she changed but she just wanted to pass by me
As she cat-walked to the toilet I knew this was love
But we just met so what the hell was I thinking of?

Suddenly there was a thunderous explosion to my right
From where I sat it seemed that one turbine was alight
The pilot inevitably brought a devastating bit of news
A nose-dive was imminent so my prayer was of no use
Passengers were overcome with every type of emotion
I looked out the window and saw we were over an ocean
Ironic since some were crying enough tears to drown us
The trained Air stewardesses were making the most fuss
The plane began its diagonal descent towards the big blue
The seat next to me was empty! That girl didn’t have a clue
I got out my chair and raced towards the engaged restroom
Air stewardesses told me to sit down but I risked my doom
I banged furiously at the door shouting for her to get out
Sounds of the plane piercing thru the sky masked my shout
The door opened but she was bleeding and in much pain
She must have bumped her head after the jerk of the plane
I believe the Powers that be intervened and opened the door
Because she was unconscious…Now I was made her saviour

As fast as I could do it, I dragged her on the floor to her seat
I struggled to put her in as it was hard standing on my feet
The plane was almost vertical and I still wasn’t sitting down
I was strapping the girl in an attempt to save beauty profound
If only I could reach for my own seat now but it was too late
I was now hanging from her armrest, contemplating my fate
The screams were getting louder, and cries were unbearable
Couldn’t cry as I lost all hope and all my energy in general
All I wanted was to try and reach Her lips for one small kiss
I lost my balance and my chance of a kiss was now hopeless

      \\

           \\ 
  
            >-<o

 

As I fell thru the aisle I was sure I saw her opening her eyes
She reached out to me and her voice was the sweetest of cries
Her eyes looked full of tears and her beauty still shone through
In those last seconds I squeezed in a smile; ‘twas all I could do
Last thing I remembered was the sound of my bones breaking
By the time I awoke from the blackout my soul was taken…

…Jollof~

Lover’s ball II

…turbine alight…almost vertical…save beauty…small kiss…hopeless…breaking…soul was taken…<eyes close>

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Detached from earth my weepy soul ascends into the sky
Up where the angels dwell and the other lucky souls cry
Incessant blare of trumpets salute the Almighty one
He gazes down on me warmly like a father to a son
Golden gates open wide like arms longing embrace
I tread softly on alien ground at my own slow pace
Welcomed by gatekeepers signing me into their log
Up ahead a blinding light shines thru the mystic fog
It’s a constitution of single flames burning in unity
Each upheld by a soul in white – symbolising purity
Unknown to me I too wear this bright silky gown
I join the assembly and in one motion we bow down
Suspended in the air is a Book that the devil shames
It’s marked in Holy ink so he is unable to blot names
I soul-search for familiar ones but there were none found
Til I felt a familiar finger tap to which I turned round
Its the once Mean but Angelic Beauty standing by my side
She finally returned my smile and threw away all her pride
My faith in true love restored ‘n all scepticism faded
She takes my hand and whispers, ‘I’m so glad you made it’
Our eyes lock, our lips part, and our heads draw near
A velvet kiss sealed and our feelings are made clear
My sense of taste excited by undertones of eucalyptus
Then we instinctively turn to Psalms to sing the scriptures
We are all singin’ perfectly and I did not need to rehearse
But I hear an offbeat disrupting the rhythm in each verse
It’s my heart…<thud>……<thud>…<thud><th-thud><th-thud>

\

   \

      >-<o

Yet again I slowly lose her grip like I once did on the plane
A sinking feeling, and next I can’t hear what she’s saying
Suddenly my soul falls fast through each sacred cloud
Heading for an eerie room surrounded by a medical crowd
They’re congratulating each other, expressing signs of relief
Thru a glass window my family spy, once overcome with grief
I’ve been returned to the 3rd planet to impart this 1st rhyme
It was a narrow escape … but I pray I get caught a 2nd time…
”Our love will be rekindled after the end of time and it shall last for all eternity.”
R.I.P Passenger 72B 
..xTx..

Lover’s ball III

…turbine alight…almost vertical…save beauty…small kiss…hopeless…breaking…soul was taken…angels dwell…golden gates…silky gown…lips part…velvet kiss…offbeat…soul falls…medical crowd…narrow escape…

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

A tear escapes my eye as Reality reveals an inconsolable fact –
I was returned to a loveless life…and she wasn’t coming back
Like a bride left waiting at the altar, the loneliness I feel is immense
A double-edged dagger could pierce my heart but this is more intense
A bond & balance like no other, Chemisty confirms our love is a pH7 
How can other girls compare when We shared our 1st kiss in Heaven?
Confused by the unfamiliar vicinity but dressed in reminiscent white
Bed-ridden ‘n enslaved to traumatic flashbacks of that damned flight
Earthly parents overwhelm me with love though paternal and maternal
A necessity for the present but I still look forward to that Love-eternal

Emotional sounds dominate yet another irritates, albeit the life-support     
Its master, a white-coated knight, approaches me with a medical report
His valour commended and humbly accepted, he gives a heeded chant
Attention briefly lost but regained after mentions of a heart transplant
Lucky me anxiously and curiously seeks to discover the <i>Unlucky who</i>
– ‘Twas recovered from a passenger-turned-fatality, on that plane too’

My heart discarded, physically, emotionally ‘n replaced instinctively
Now ‘a’ heart functioning beautifully but thumped ever distinctively
I long to seek further, yearn to get closer, ‘n crave to meet my Donor
Embarking on a perpetual bed-cruise that I sooner wished was over
The moment of truth arrives…parked by the bed my saviour rested
Once covered head-to-toe, the unveiling had all my emotions tested

<not her> <not her> <not her> <anyone else but please not her!>
 
But there she was…my hopes in vain as I beheld her Angelic face     
Her life’s purpose done after her heart found its new resting place   
I wail aloud, fingers clenched, and my blood pressure is elevated
My new blood-pump overworked and a near heart-attack initiated
Suddenly, the beating in my chest replicates the tap of a Morse code
A distinct 1-4-3 beat sequence, like my heart’s in ‘I-love-you’ mode
Per chance it was My message to her…or was it Her message to me?
Either way, mutual feelings transcended the boundaries of mortality
Alas the code gets stronger…can’t take it any longer…must…stop…
Drenched in cold sweat, My subconscious beckons me to ‘wake up!’

\

 ….\

………>-<o

Awoken to the stark reality: I dream every night how I miss you
And all I have is your heart and, on my chest, a love scar tissue

Love hurts : (
..xTx..