Entry #55 – Ashamed

Today as I sat down in my local church and listened to the bible study teachings, I pondered on the theme which was ‘Being ashamed of the gospel’. What I found it to mean was not necessarily detaching oneself from hearing or believing the word of God but shying away from telling someone else about Him. As a Christian it’s a hard-hitting truth to be reminded that if I deny Christ on earth then He will deny me in Heaven. Surely, it wouldn’t cost me anything to just open my mouth and tell someone close by that there’s more to this life and that we need to be repentant so that we can live a life (an after-life) eternal. But it’s not as easy as that and I’ll tell you why.

Society dictates what is the norm, what is cool, what is acceptable, and as a result Christians sometimes seem to be treading on eggshells when it comes to speaking up about Christ. If we always worried about what people would think about us based on our actions then we would never act. It goes with everything else and not just religion. If I worried about what my friends would think then I wouldn’t go for salsa classes (well, I’ve stopped now but only because it’s too damn expensive, honest!). It’s a big barrier that could mean the difference between saving a soul or leaving that soul to be tormented in the depths of hell. How about skeptics or agnostics who challenge Christian beliefs? They appear to be obstacles too and they sometimes put up really good, factual arguments that could even make the most fanatical Christians doubt their faith a teeny bit.

All that’s required of Christians in sharing the gospel is to do just do that – Share it. There’s no need to worry about how the other party will receive it or if they will give their lives to Christ that minute – It might be the next day, a fortnight or even a year after before they finally surrender their lives to Christ.

For those who do not believe in any religion whatsoever my question is this: Just what IF (and notice this is a big ‘if’) there is life after death, there is a Heaven and a Hell, there is a Judgement day…would you want to take that chance and reap the consequences for the rest of your life? I wouldn’t.

Some doubt that God can do such things as allow His children to suffer in Hell because He created us. What about the victims of the great flood in the time of Noah? Fast-forward to 2010 and you have the 8.8 magnitude earthquake in Chile which at the last count took 300 lives and affected 400,000 others. There are more and more disasters each year, some natural and some man-made: The World Trade Center attacks in 2001 took close to 3000 lives including 800 of the rescue workers. The Tsunami of 2004 took nearly 250,000 lives a day after Christmas. Where are all their souls right now. Is it just a case of ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust’?

I believe the reason why a lot of us are still alive today is just by the Grace of God. He gives us more than a second chance to surrender our lives to Him. He loves us. He gave us free will, otherwise he could just as easily have created us such that we serve Him by default like robots. Ironically He knows which way we’ll sway though He gives us (limited) chances, put His message in the media, talk to us through people who are ready to spread his word, etc. This way no one can say they didn’t know or they didn’t hear.

The end times are already in progress and with the pace of Global warming we’re set to see even more radical changes in weather and probably a shift to the Ice Age – I think Washington got its first glimpse of what Obama coined as ‘Snowmageddon’. If what happened in the 2012 movie were to happen today then I bet the churches across the world would be packed to full capacity but would it be too late by then?

So now what can little old me do to share the word? The Bible study teacher said every time you do something nice for someone or give to those in need and they say ‘thank you’ you could respond with ‘Jesus loves you’ – that drives the message home. The art of Giving is so powerful, rewarding and therapeutic: The more you give, the more you receive (in Heaven and Earth).

Other ways of spreading the gospel would be through distribution of tracts or daily devotionals. You just might touch someone’s life without even knowing it. Blogs are another fantastic way to share the Word and you could reach a worldwide audience. I’m no saint but I hope I’ve lived a life so far that would want to make someone say ‘Hey, I want to be happy like him. What’s his secret?’ It’s simple – I know that Jesus loves me…and I’m not ashamed to say it 😀

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Lover’s ball I

I’m free though I’m trapped in my seat belt
The take-off is sure to make my nausea felt
With fear I meekly pray to get through this flight
Hoping someone near would say, ‘It’ll be alright’
But then this Mean beauty sat next to my side
She was luscious but she had too much pride
Asked her for her name but she cut me short
– making me wish I never came to the airport
10 mins later the plane is elevated into horizon
Simultaneously I can feel my temperature rising
Not caused by the flight but by her tap on my knee
Thought she changed but she just wanted to pass by me
As she cat-walked to the toilet I knew this was love
But we just met so what the hell was I thinking of?

Suddenly there was a thunderous explosion to my right
From where I sat it seemed that one turbine was alight
The pilot inevitably brought a devastating bit of news
A nose-dive was imminent so my prayer was of no use
Passengers were overcome with every type of emotion
I looked out the window and saw we were over an ocean
Ironic since some were crying enough tears to drown us
The trained Air stewardesses were making the most fuss
The plane began its diagonal descent towards the big blue
The seat next to me was empty! That girl didn’t have a clue
I got out my chair and raced towards the engaged restroom
Air stewardesses told me to sit down but I risked my doom
I banged furiously at the door shouting for her to get out
Sounds of the plane piercing thru the sky masked my shout
The door opened but she was bleeding and in much pain
She must have bumped her head after the jerk of the plane
I believe the Powers that be intervened and opened the door
Because she was unconscious…Now I was made her saviour

As fast as I could do it, I dragged her on the floor to her seat
I struggled to put her in as it was hard standing on my feet
The plane was almost vertical and I still wasn’t sitting down
I was strapping the girl in an attempt to save beauty profound
If only I could reach for my own seat now but it was too late
I was now hanging from her armrest, contemplating my fate
The screams were getting louder, and cries were unbearable
Couldn’t cry as I lost all hope and all my energy in general
All I wanted was to try and reach Her lips for one small kiss
I lost my balance and my chance of a kiss was now hopeless

      \\

           \\ 
  
            >-<o

 

As I fell thru the aisle I was sure I saw her opening her eyes
She reached out to me and her voice was the sweetest of cries
Her eyes looked full of tears and her beauty still shone through
In those last seconds I squeezed in a smile; ‘twas all I could do
Last thing I remembered was the sound of my bones breaking
By the time I awoke from the blackout my soul was taken…

…Jollof~

Lover’s ball II

…turbine alight…almost vertical…save beauty…small kiss…hopeless…breaking…soul was taken…<eyes close>

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Detached from earth my weepy soul ascends into the sky
Up where the angels dwell and the other lucky souls cry
Incessant blare of trumpets salute the Almighty one
He gazes down on me warmly like a father to a son
Golden gates open wide like arms longing embrace
I tread softly on alien ground at my own slow pace
Welcomed by gatekeepers signing me into their log
Up ahead a blinding light shines thru the mystic fog
It’s a constitution of single flames burning in unity
Each upheld by a soul in white – symbolising purity
Unknown to me I too wear this bright silky gown
I join the assembly and in one motion we bow down
Suspended in the air is a Book that the devil shames
It’s marked in Holy ink so he is unable to blot names
I soul-search for familiar ones but there were none found
Til I felt a familiar finger tap to which I turned round
Its the once Mean but Angelic Beauty standing by my side
She finally returned my smile and threw away all her pride
My faith in true love restored ‘n all scepticism faded
She takes my hand and whispers, ‘I’m so glad you made it’
Our eyes lock, our lips part, and our heads draw near
A velvet kiss sealed and our feelings are made clear
My sense of taste excited by undertones of eucalyptus
Then we instinctively turn to Psalms to sing the scriptures
We are all singin’ perfectly and I did not need to rehearse
But I hear an offbeat disrupting the rhythm in each verse
It’s my heart…<thud>……<thud>…<thud><th-thud><th-thud>

\

   \

      >-<o

Yet again I slowly lose her grip like I once did on the plane
A sinking feeling, and next I can’t hear what she’s saying
Suddenly my soul falls fast through each sacred cloud
Heading for an eerie room surrounded by a medical crowd
They’re congratulating each other, expressing signs of relief
Thru a glass window my family spy, once overcome with grief
I’ve been returned to the 3rd planet to impart this 1st rhyme
It was a narrow escape … but I pray I get caught a 2nd time…
”Our love will be rekindled after the end of time and it shall last for all eternity.”
R.I.P Passenger 72B 
..xTx..

Lover’s ball III

…turbine alight…almost vertical…save beauty…small kiss…hopeless…breaking…soul was taken…angels dwell…golden gates…silky gown…lips part…velvet kiss…offbeat…soul falls…medical crowd…narrow escape…

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

A tear escapes my eye as Reality reveals an inconsolable fact –
I was returned to a loveless life…and she wasn’t coming back
Like a bride left waiting at the altar, the loneliness I feel is immense
A double-edged dagger could pierce my heart but this is more intense
A bond & balance like no other, Chemisty confirms our love is a pH7 
How can other girls compare when We shared our 1st kiss in Heaven?
Confused by the unfamiliar vicinity but dressed in reminiscent white
Bed-ridden ‘n enslaved to traumatic flashbacks of that damned flight
Earthly parents overwhelm me with love though paternal and maternal
A necessity for the present but I still look forward to that Love-eternal

Emotional sounds dominate yet another irritates, albeit the life-support     
Its master, a white-coated knight, approaches me with a medical report
His valour commended and humbly accepted, he gives a heeded chant
Attention briefly lost but regained after mentions of a heart transplant
Lucky me anxiously and curiously seeks to discover the <i>Unlucky who</i>
– ‘Twas recovered from a passenger-turned-fatality, on that plane too’

My heart discarded, physically, emotionally ‘n replaced instinctively
Now ‘a’ heart functioning beautifully but thumped ever distinctively
I long to seek further, yearn to get closer, ‘n crave to meet my Donor
Embarking on a perpetual bed-cruise that I sooner wished was over
The moment of truth arrives…parked by the bed my saviour rested
Once covered head-to-toe, the unveiling had all my emotions tested

<not her> <not her> <not her> <anyone else but please not her!>
 
But there she was…my hopes in vain as I beheld her Angelic face     
Her life’s purpose done after her heart found its new resting place   
I wail aloud, fingers clenched, and my blood pressure is elevated
My new blood-pump overworked and a near heart-attack initiated
Suddenly, the beating in my chest replicates the tap of a Morse code
A distinct 1-4-3 beat sequence, like my heart’s in ‘I-love-you’ mode
Per chance it was My message to her…or was it Her message to me?
Either way, mutual feelings transcended the boundaries of mortality
Alas the code gets stronger…can’t take it any longer…must…stop…
Drenched in cold sweat, My subconscious beckons me to ‘wake up!’

\

 ….\

………>-<o

Awoken to the stark reality: I dream every night how I miss you
And all I have is your heart and, on my chest, a love scar tissue

Love hurts : (
..xTx..