**PREMIERE OF THE CRAZY NIGERIAN BOOK READING THIS WEEKEND** Get your autographed copy of the hilarious book, The Crazy Nigerian by @dcrazynigerian: Venue: @TerraKulture , Tiamiyu Savage, V.I, Lagos Date: Saturday, Feb 28 Time: 5pm (Be there or be … Continue reading →
You thought I would forget? You thought I wouldn’t keep my word? Not the Crazy Nigerian (Dictum Meum Pactum). Some months ago I asked for your help with my book title. I also said that participants would get a free copy of my e-book for their reading enjoyment. Here is the shortlist of the lucky winners:
J. Todd Hubbard
Congratulations and look out for the e-book which will be sent shortly to the email addresses intially provided during the participation stage. Don’t forget to drop a review on Amazonbooks, Kobobooks or Authorhouse bookstore.
Thank you so much for being a part of my dream…well, one of my dreams 🙂
My debut book, The Crazy Nigerian is now available! (Look ma! I did it!) In order to get your copy of this gut-busting, action-packed memoir of my memorable mishaps and misadventures, then just keep reading. Soft paperback and E-book version available on Authorhouse, Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can enjoy The Crazy Nigerian on your Nooks, iPads and Kindles if paper isn’t your thing. In Lagos, my book is currently available at Terra Kulture bookshop, The Hub Media Store (Palms, Lekki), Silverbird lifestyle Victoria Island and soon to hit other local bookstores so watch this space.Be sure to leave your comments here or alternatively you can send them to email@example.com. Alternatively you can call +2347032024019 or send a BB message to 284D7BB7 to speak to the Crazy Nigerian in person. You can show your support by going to ‘Like‘ my Facebook fan page ‘Tonwa Anthony’. Crazy videos coming soon! Comments & criticisms also welcome…(yikes!) Follow @dcrazynigerian for crazy updates and crazy articles.
1.37pm – As I sit here in this corporate prison, choked by my own Finelli necktie and nauseated by this cologne that I use predominantly for this ‘Five to Nine’ (No typo – I wake up 5am and get back by 9pm), I already dread the impending road congestion parade and the utter disregard of the highway code by notorious ‘motorpsycholists’ (Again, no typo).
I begin to analyze the principle of Cause and Effect with relevance to the current state of economic affairs. Most Nigerian banks have been exposed to risk by careless lending (Cause) which may potentially lead to colossal money losses (Effect). Some banks go on a defensive and start to cut their ‘losses’ by cutting jobs. Cutting jobs leads to lowered morale within the retained workforce, but jobhunting and high blood pressure for the booted. Jobhunting for 1month = Anticipation. Jobhunting for 2-3months = Frustration. Jobhunting for 4-6months = Desperation. Jobhunting for over 6-8months = (Possible) Suicide contemplation. Jobhunting for 8-10months = Partial transformation to Schemer/Scammer. Jobhunting for over 1year = Complete transformation to Schemer/Scammer.
Everyday you are thankful that you still have a job…a reason to get dressed in the morning…a reason to smile at the end of each month. The hard-hitting reality is a pill too bitter to swallow – the Recession is the new stealth virus whose only close rival is Swine flu. But the Recession doesn’t just stop at cutting jobs, deteriorating health and inducing paranoia about job security. It goes on to have an adverse effect on the economy. With the rise in unemployment comes the surge in crime and there are bound to be casualties.
Alas, my lunch break is over. I see my work before me and the ghost of Recession hovering in the distance with a dark cloak and a razor-sharp sickle. It is ready to harvest jobs but I am not ready to yield it any fruit. I am armed with my product knowledge, I.T and Marketing skills, an excellent appraisal, and a prayer. I must remain relevant in the system to avoid being weeded out. I must avoid the weeds around me who harbor toxic attiitudes. I will not be choked up. I will loosen my Finelli necktie and switch to another cologne. I will take control of my destiny, look the 8-foot Grim Recession Reaper in the eye and say, “You want my job? You’re going to have to get past me first!”