The dirtiest post you will ever read

I was in a car park, minding my own business, when I caught (what I thought would be) a ‘Kodak’ moment for my Samsung-Galaxy-Note-2 (yeah, if you can say ‘Samuel L. Jackson’ then my phone’s name isn’t too long). I can’t imagine what your first thoughts are on the picture but here are a couple of captions I would tag to it:

  • ‘This is what happens when the trash-man goes on strike’
  • ‘People will park just about anywhere these days’
  • ‘I hope the driver is seriously considering get out from the passenger’s side’
  • ‘We’re gonna need a bigger garbage truck for this mother-load’
  • ‘Toyota sales plummet after more cases of unassisted acceleration occur’
  • ‘Should have bought Sat-Nav for dummies’ 
  • ‘With a stench that strong my wife won’t want me to pick her up anymore, YES!!!’

And I couldn’t resist…

  • One man’s trash is another man’s treasure (the guy bent over in the pic hasn’t made the alarming discovery yet, bless him…have you seen Wally?).

That’s it…oh…did I say this will be the dirtiest post you will ever read? Damn it, ok I guess a deal is a deal. Here goes nothing *sigh*:

As I came out of my car I was greeted with the putrid odour of oozing refuse, conducive enough for a generation of cockroaches, that is if their arch enemies ‘rats’ didn’t run the neighborhood already. I was already imagining the rustling of roaches among the decaying dump, the squeaks of the restless rodents as they somersaulted in their new-found trampoline heap. This rancid smell was like deodorant for them…how they swam in it and soaked up its filthy essence. A step closer and I would have fainted…in seconds. An inch closer and I would have vomited…in chunks. My radars confirmed that a swarm of houseflies were scheduled to crash the trash-party, each with a salivating proboscis to sip from a cocktail of sour milk, rotten eggs and other assorted ‘delights’. But I only savoured the haunting mental picture and the impression it made on me…so I decided to capture this moment on camera for all my fans to see (zoom lens may be required) 😀

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5 thoughts on “The dirtiest post you will ever read

  1. Your way with words is highly commendable! This is expert, picturesque description! I’ve read other articles you’ve written but this deserves a hand clap. Well done!

    Like

  2. Is it possible for something to be described too vividly? Cos this article would be guilty! My face is still scrunched cos somehow, you got me to smell and see what you experienced first hand. Well done for the article, great stuff! But it stinks!

    Like

    • lol. Thanks for the compliment (I think). I get a kick out of descriptive narration but I’m hoping I don’t freak my fans out too much. Hope to see you again soon. Cheers!

      Like

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