I shouldn’t have said that!

One hard lesson I’ve learnt so far in life is to know when to keep my big mouth shut. The problem is I have a mild case of verbal diarrhoea. Consequently there have been a couple of unfortunate victims who came into contact with my ‘running’ mouth and got poo’ed on big time. Here are a couple of things I can remember saying during my lifetime which made me wish that the earth would just swallow me whole with no chance of regurgitation:

1. “I like that thing you have there…they’re like whiskers.”Said to a girl with a faint moustache whilst I was under the influence of Smirnoff vodka before a night out during my university years.
 

2. “I wrote a jingle for a milk advert. Wanna hear it?”Said to a girl I was chatting up and trying desperately hard to impress during my secondary school years. Smh.

3. “There’s someone sitting here”Said to a guy at a wedding reception whom I did not want sitting next to me because he looked unkempt and likely to be a pickpocket.

4. “How’s your mum and dad?”Said to a friend who told me some months back that her dad had passed away after an illness. It just skipped my memory before asking.

5. “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend”Said to a girl I was dating and whom I obviously never ended up having a relationship with.

If I remember anymore I’ll put them up here, reluctantly. In the meantime feel free to share some of those careless things that slipped out of your mouth…and that includes spitting when you talk 😀

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6 thoughts on “I shouldn’t have said that!

  1. Oh, yes been there, done that (red face included).
    (In my single days) Having a laugh with a group of people after watching a dirt bike trials day.. a gorgeous looking guy came and sat next to me, in an effort to be funny I said “did you see the guy who fell out the back of the sidecar and spectacularly went splat on his butt?”
    He replied “yeah that was me” and got up and moved away.
    Ouch, ouch, ouch… on so many levels.

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    • @ ouch on so many levels – the guy’s butt, the guy’s feelings, your embarrassment after his revelation, your further embarrassment when he moved away from you. I really feel your pain KiwiD 😦 Time is a good healer (they say). Thx for sharing!

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  2. I broke the very well known rule of keeping silent about someone’s pregnancy until you are ABSOLUTELY SURE they are pregnant. I was at a restaurant with my brother and sister-in-law (who was very obviously with child). Our waitress came up to our table and I blurt out, “Hey, looks like you’re in the “family way!” to which I get a blank stare from her so I explain further, “You know, like my sister-in-law here, PREGNANT!” She shut her gaping mouth and marched away. I look across the table and my brother and his wife are still wide-eyed, staring at me in utter disbelief. I STILL didn’t catch on. I asked, “What? She’s going to be a mommy!” They had to point out the fact that she was like 45 years old and totally pissed about my comment so it was pretty obvious she was NOT pregnant. On closer inspection (as she hurried past us to the kitchen) I saw that I was in fact mistaken. Jesus. I shouldn’t have eaten the food, who knows what she may have done to it but I had to stay until the end so I could leave a big tip to compensate for my idocy.

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    • lmao! it’s a perfectly honest mistake but I hope your dinner wasn’t sabotaged. I mean, if you directed the insult at me and tipped me heavily afterwards I think my conscience would lead me to whisper in your ear, “I’m sorry about spitting in your food but don’t worry, I’m healthy!” 😀

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